Yesterday (my day off), I went and poked around at the Toys R Us. This is a thing that I do occasionally. See, I like action figures. I'm not a hardcore collector or anything but hey, I like small shiny toys that I can put on my desk and play imaginative games with. Action figures are pretty good for this. Wonder Woman, Darth Vader, Sherlock Holmes, and Nancy Pearl all occasionally have epic adventures on my desk. It fills the time while I wait for things to load on the computer. 8)
The problem is, though, that I always end up wanting action figures for things that toy companies would never in a million years make action figures for. They're almost always books - literary characters don't get made into action figures until they're first made into a movie. For instance - to my knowledge, there are no action figures for characters in George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series, even though that would rock. Surely that series is ripe for action figures. There's dragons and knights and assassins and shadow-witches and ice zombies and semi-vikings and semi-Mongol hordes, etc, etc. (And just think - the toy company would have fewer and fewer of them to produce as the series went on. By the time you get to book four, practically everyone you met in book one is dead.) It would be brilliant.
The last time I started thinking about this, I was reading Crime and Punishment. I still vaguely want an action figure of Raskolnikov. He would come with an axe for killing elderly pawn brokers, a couch for having a nervous breakdown on and possibly a dead horse. (Of course, you'd end up having to get Sonya and Razumikhin to go with him. And maybe Porfiry Petrovich.) I could pretend my desk was St Petersburg and have him walk around on it, talking to himself and gesticulating wildly. (Our Rodya canonically walks around talking to himself - the gesticulating is probably just me.)
I asked my sister what literary character she'd want an action figure of and I think her answer was cooler than mine: she wants Gregor Samsa from Kafka's Metamorphosis. This is awesome because her action figure would be a transformer. That is magnificently cool.
Anyway. The action figure thing is a good game. Want to play? What literary characters would you want as action figures, greater blogosphere? What kind of accessories would they come with? Would any of them have kung-fu grip?
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5 comments:
I absolutely loved this post, Sara!
One of my favourite books and movies is "To Kill A Mockingbird"...just jam packed with epic mythic archetypes! I think the following would make great action figures:
Jean Louise "Scout" Finch = protagonist: intelligent, combative, tomboyish, faithful in the innate goodness of people, yet, tested by hatred and prejudice emergent in her community. She comes complete with found objects and ham hock armour.
Atticus Finch = Linked historically to his community, strong sense of morality, justice and racial equality. [See him with scales of justice as his weapon] He has wisdom and empathy, tempered with a moral backbone. [Another weapon? An human backbone whip?].
Jeremy Atticus "Jem" Finch = the elder brother, playmate, typically American boy, comes into maturity because of evil and injustice. His weapon? Dares and footballs.
Arthur "Boo" Radley = reclusive, symbolic of goodness, clothed in creepiness, vigilant yet invisible, generous, damaged by an abusive father. His weapon? A mockingbird and various discarded do-dads: string a broken watch, etc.
Bob Ewell = the dark side of of the human soul: ignorance, poverty, squalor, hatred, prejudice. His weapon? Lies and corn whiskey.
Charles Baker "Dill" Harris = sensitive, small, imaginative, eternally childlike and playful. His weapon? The "trickster" persona who enjoys decorating and fashion.
Miss Maudie Atkinson = serpent tongued crone with a soft spot for children. Her weapon? [Do I need to say it?] A serpent like tongue.
Calpurnia = the black community, disciplinarian, cook. Her weapon? An iron fry pan.
Mayella Ewell = fear, lonliness, desperation. Her weapon? Firewood.
Tom Robinson = innocence destroyed by evil. His weapon? Immortality.
There. Although there are other characters in the book, I think there could be plenty-o-fun battles with those listed below. You could even have jail scenes, courtroom scenes, eating scenes, chase scenes, hiding scenarios, you name it!
i'd like to see McMurphy (pre-lobotomy) and Nurse Ratched go at it one more time. Nurse R. would have to have her hat and meticulous hair, along with all the implements of convention; Randle P. would need a 6-pack of anything and several slightly twisted & bawdy companions.
bc
Can't tell you how much I love this post. Now I want action figures for all my favorite books. I'm reading The Prestige right now, and I like the idea of two rival magician action figures, one with a "Transported Man" box, one with a collapsing bird cage. Of course, The Prestige action figures would always be disappearing and turning up in your pocket or sitting on the side of the bathtub.
Emma Wodehouse, who would have only her wit as a weapon. Qualities: snobbery, matchmaking (and mismatching) the other action figures, basic decency underneath.
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